Greater Than

Jan 28, 2011

I wanted to let you guys see some of the headstones you have given to families in need. Families who have suffered horrific tragedies. You have paid for them. I want you to see the fruits of your generosity. 

I find all of this to be amazing. Do you? 

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a part of something greater than myself. I used to think I wanted fame and fortune. As a girl, I dreamed of performing on Broadway (Ok, I still do) until my head hurt. I thought greatness was defined by your popularity, talent, and good looks. This is what drove me for many years. The energy I used comparing myself to others was astounding. I could have solved the nation's energy crisis with all the angst and time I put into wondering how I sized up.

Small glimpses of my dream were given to me through unique and rich opportunities. Touring with performing groups, serving an LDS mission, following my dreams in New York City and Los Angeles. These all enriched my life and continued to feed my desire to be better-- To be bigger and stronger and have a purposeful existence. There is no doubt that they LARGELY contributed to who I am today.

But much of my racing into the limelight came to a finish line when I became a mother. All other experiences paled in comparison to this. Nothing to that point had been more difficult, more daunting, or more rewarding. It was a gift I never would have asked for, but treasured above all others.

And losing the very being who gave me that perspective and gift crushed me to my very core.

I don't know how I arrived to where I am today. A friend recently stated that she has no idea how I "bounced back" from such a loss. I haven't told her yet that there was no bouncing involved. There is flattening, deflating, crushing weight that you are unable to bear on your own. And then there is picking your body up off of the careless, chaotic dirt one-sixteenth of an inch at a time. After your body comes your mind. And that's even slower. Lastly, your soul starts to remember it exists and loved ones and even strangers help you piece it back together. Sometimes it throws fits and creates a spark you had long forgotten. And eventually, body and soul work together to breathe again, but in a much different way than you breathed before. And often, after all that foreign breathing, the wind gets knocked out of you. But you keep going.

One day you wake up and you know your new self. You are comfortable with your new way of breathing.

That is where greatness begins. That is when you truly are something bigger and different and better than who you were before.

YOU are part of my new self. You are part of my greater-than. You have given my life purpose, meaning, and direction. And you have picked up the souls of other parents lying in the dirt.

I think the bouncing will come in the next life when we're reunited...

 

 

 

Robert Birkinshaw is a twin. He died at birth but his brother lived without him for 27 years, until he passed away. They now share the same burial plot, but baby Robert never had a headstone until now. It was paid for and installed without his parents knowing. They went to visit their twin boys on their birthdays, October 18th, and saw little Bobby's marker at the foot of his "big" twin brother. 


Comments

Shara on 01/28/2011
Thanks for being such a hero, Molly. Your strength & will to take your grief, carry it AND find ways to bless the lives of others is inspiring! The BYU short was well done & touching, and these photos are the showcase of the love that you are sharing. Lucy must be so proud.

Cheryl on 01/28/2011
the story of Bobby's marker made me cry...what a gift to his parents!

Becca on 01/28/2011
Molly you are amazing! The video was beautiful as are the headstones. Love you PS- Vic is a handsome devil!

Amy Saville on 01/28/2011
We LOVE our Gabie's Headstone.. Thank you!

Lindsey on 01/29/2011
I am amazed by your story. As a mother to 2 children, I can not say that I would be strong as you are if I lost one of mine. THANK YOU for taking such a tragedy and CHOOSING to make something beautiful out of it. You truely are a blessing. I know your sweet angel Lucy is proud of you.

Jan on 01/30/2011
This truly touched my heart, as all the stories do. I'm in awe of you Molly and how you have turned tragedy into something so giving and healing.

Bridget on 01/31/2011
Love Robby's headstone story. Wow. I like the picture on Gabriel's, too. Good work.

Mary Fox on 02/01/2011
Molly you and Vic have such beautiful spirits. It is no wonder your sweet Lucy was the lovely, energetic little girls that she was and continues to be with her Father in Heaven. Thank you for sharing your testimony...it is real. It is such a gift to so many. Even though I ache for you and the loss you are living with daily, your raw, authentic manner that you express your feelings lets us know we are not alone when we have tragedies in our lives. You are not alone. I pray for you and your family daily. You are doing such a beautiful act of kindness and generosity by using your talent and your loving spirit honoring your little Lucy baby in such a unique and special way. I will be honored to make a contribution to your cause.

Sarah on 02/01/2011
What a wonderful way to always remember Lucy. I am certain that she is very proud of her family. It's neat how things in life come full circle. When our little one passed away, my husband built a horse drawn wagon to carry him to his final resting place. Since, we have been able to use this very same wagon..."Waylon's Wagon" to help other families with their losses. The feeling that comes from serving others in their time of need is a wonderful feeling. Being able to, in some small way, give back to our Heavenly Father by helping His other children feels... well....wonderful. We have been so blessed to be able to do this. It is a sacred opportunity...and we feel very blessed to be apart of it. I enjoy reading your thoughts...often you put into words what is very hard for most mothers, whom have walked a mile in similar shoes, to express. I'm greatful to have been able to read some of your thoughts.

Karla on 02/07/2011
What a beautiful way to honor your daughter. I stumbled across your website and was so moved by the awesome work you are doing. I am so sorry about your beautiful daughter, I work at a Children's hospital and face the fear of losing a child every day. I can not even imagine what yout family and others that have lost a child go through day to day! I hope you find peace in knowing you are helping others in their time of need, I think your little Lucy would be proud!!!!! I will spread the word and definitly donate to your cause!

Debbie on 02/09/2011
Your kind soul brings healing to those you have suffered as you have suffered. God Bless you. Your daughter is proud of you, always remember that is your heart.

Nola on 02/10/2011
Thank you for doing this! I will be back with a donation as soon as my husband and I can discuss this. My father and brother were buried for about 18 and 16 years without a headstone. That always nagged at me and kept the wound slightly opened. Just recently some extended family members did some fund raising without my mom and I knowing. My dad and brother will now have headstones so I can show my little family where they are buried when we make our next trip to MI. Thanks again for bringing peace and comfort to people in need.


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