My Good Grief
Sep 30, 2011
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Comments
Rebecca Jeppson on 09/30/2011
Today has been one of THEE worst days in my life. Your words are very comforting and I thank you for them. God bless you, your soon to be ex and your sweet children.
natalie on 09/30/2011
Wow. Wow...You are a STRONG woman and you can do this. God is in the details and I know He has the best plan for us in mind. As long as we are on His side, he'll be on ours. Thanks for sharing.
Von on 09/30/2011
Your story is much like my family. My Dad decided he was gay his whole life when I was 9, I am the youngest of 4 children. I am so glad that you are sharing your story, I felt very alone growing up. Hopefully this will help someone else, because you are not alone in this trial.
Trying to explain to people my Dad is married to another man is hard, because people always say...HOW DID YOU GET HERE if your Dad has been gay his whole life!? I don't understand it myself...
Sending prayers in your behalf and to your sweet boys.
Anonymousx2 on 10/02/2011
I can relate to this story very well, except from the other side. I'm a gay man, born and raised in the Church, served an honorable mission. I know what it's like trying to fit in the mold that is taught to us since we're kids. It is something I battled with for many, many years before ultimately leaving the Church.
I'm sorry to hear that your husband faltered in his vows and covenants to you and your family, and I can guarantee that the pain he has caused will live with him for the rest of his life. But I also can't help but think that Heavenly Father's plan is for us to be happy, for you and your husband. You now share children, and while there may be some stigma associated with your husband's sexuality, I honestly doubt it has an impact on his love for his children, and most likely for you as their mother.
I hope you and your husband are able find the comfort you are looking for. I imagine he probably feels betrayed by Heavenly Father for trying his best to live the life the Church has set, and failing -- I know I did. There are not words available to describe the anger, frustration, and depression that came with my losing battle -- and for my search for happiness, because at the end of the day, that's the whole point, right? To love, be loved, and be happy?
I hope you continue to stay in touch with him and that the negative experience that scarred your marriage doesn't change the innate love you have for him.
ADHD and Depression on 10/10/2011
Your story is very inspirational. A lot of people try to stay together for the wrong reasons. I believe you made your best effort to try to keep your marriage together. But sometimes, it's just not enough. Thanks for sharing!
Anonymous on 10/14/2011
Hmmm . . . all I can say is this.
I grew up in the LDS faith, my parents are divorced, and I too know the pain that causes to children (let alone dealing with infidelity or sexual orientation issues).
I am now close to 40 years old, married for several years with children. (I am female). I have discovered that I am no longer active in the church and have little, if any faith anymore.
Sure, we need to be who we are. But you know what? Despite not believing anymore, I choose to honor my marriage vows. Non-Mormons are just as accountable for their commitments as Mormons. Why does leaving the church give you some kind of free pass to cheat on your spouse? It absolutely does not.
I also deal with some same-sex attraction issues. But I would never, ever use that as an excuse to cheat on my husband. There are people suffering all over the world, and yes, we should strive to be happy. But you deal with the hand you are dealt, you find happiness and gratitude in your situation.
I'm not trying to bag on your husband. Well, maybe I am. He should not have cheated. You did not deserve that, at all. You have a right to be mad, angry, and a right to leave. He threw away his life, if you ask me.
For those people who also deal with same-sex attraction issues, being gay doesn't give you a right to undo the commitments you made. You stay faithful, damnit!! You be honest with your spouse about your struggle. Maybe they reject you, but if they love you, they usually don't. Life is hard, and you can still be happy, if you decide to be.
Shannon norton on 01/04/2012
Wow. I don't know what to say but want to just say, I am so happy to hear of your faith in Christ. Your words of trust love and faith in Him are so beautifully written and echo a same and familiar voice I feel inside myself. I am sorry this has happened and that you have to go through the pain of dealing with it, but also how wonderful it has brought you so close to Him. I have adjusted to a plan that I never knew He had for me and my family, and while it is still difficult, it is very rewarding and oh so meaningful. I wish for all of God's blessings to be upon you!
Sophia Grace on 01/13/2012
I've been finding the moments of shimmering joy in my grief, too.
Jenn Hoff on 06/27/2012
What a difficult thing. Thank you for sharing your story, and best of luck with the new chapter in your life. I'm sorry for your grief and for all that you're going through!
Inspirational Sayings About Life on 02/07/2013
Great post!! truly inspiring/insightful.
Ashley on 09/30/2011
You're a strong person. It sounds like two boys are incredibly lucky to have you as their mom. Trials are hard, but it seems like you have found the person who will help you most...our Savior. Sending love from Idaho.