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Different kind of Stress
Molly Jackson November 20th, 2009 at 10:58 am
I haven't told this to very many people, (until now), and I don't want it to be taken the wrong way-- but in some ways, Vic losing his job (and it was so much more than that...we struggled financially for the first 3 1/2 years of our marriage. Employers that wouldn't pay, a new employer who fired him 3 weeks before Christmas with no warning, no severance, and a new home we'd been building that was days away from closing...) was more stressful than losing Lucy. Not more painful--by any means, but more stressful on our marriage. There are so many unknowns and so much fear. It was extremely difficult. Losing Lucy has not been EASIER than being unemployed. I will gladly live in a tent the rest of my life to have all of my children with me, but it was still a very real and very, very stressful time. Losing Lucy brought us together in many ways, and being unemployed kind of tore us apart. I think there is a lot of grief with being unemployed. I think you have to put the same principles to work in your life as you do with death. Hope. Faith. Turning it over to God, and so forth. What lessons have you learned from financial struggles, or from helping someone with theirs?
2 of mine
Shara J Harper November 22nd, 2009 at 5:51 pm
Thank you, Molly for your honest sharing of this part of your story. I remember talking to you during some of those times: so hard.

I have some experience with the pain & need-to-believing associated with job loss, two main experiences come to mind:

1. I was ignoring all promptings that the Lord wanted me to serve a mission. Finally, I lost my job and it was the kick in the pants that I needed to be in a totally humble, I-am-not-in-control, completely needy of guidance from Him who knew the bigger plan (while I was suffering the loss of the job that was going to supply the needed funds for my upcoming study abroad). In those moments of need, I find myself MORE ready for answers and LESS focused on MY idea of a good plan. I learned that the Best Plan was the one that I couldn't see--I had to be jolted out of my distractions and into a place where I could receive answers. By humbly asking, and receiving--I learned a very important lesson about BELIEVING. (And then went off on a mission to Portugal: best choice EVER)

2. Several months after returning from my mission --my NEW plan was perfectly laid out for me: my boyfriend had waited for me while I was away, he had purchased & remodeled a house for us, and he had THE JOB that he would have until retirement--allowing me to have an open canvas for my perfect future. Two weeks before our wedding, he lost his job. It was devastating in every way. My fiance was crushed, embarassed, angry, and left with no plan at all. He was concerned about what kind of life we would have and what we would do (he only had an associates degree at the time). We got married & moved into our beautifully remodeled house--neither of us having jobs. We were forced to bond together--we had no other choice. We searched for jobs together, for weeks. It was a blessing to spend those first newlywed weeks JUST TOGETHER. We finally found temporary jobs & put a plan into action. Five years later (and two more degrees under his belt!), we are so grateful for that job loss--we are new people, our future is brighter with more education, and we are on a path that has taught us so much more about BELIEVING in ourselves & the BIGGER PLAN that we can't always see.

Thank you Molly & Anna for reminding me of these precious (and hard!) times that have taught to BELIEVE.
Believing
Annalisa Labor November 25th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
I graduated college just as the economy was tumbling down. I lost three jobs due to the economy. Although, I will say, the first job I lost was more of a blessing than devastation (if you knew my boss at the time, you’d understand) but it does a lot to your confidence. I have always struggled with being confident. Losing a job was just another reason to look down on myself.

I also moved away from my home in Pennsylvania. I left my friends. I didn’t have them to cry with or laugh with or share these moments with them. I felt alone. I lost this job one week after one of my best friends went back to Maryland after visiting me for a week. I was grieving for my friends and I was grieving for my job.

How I dealt with it was thinking how lucky I still am. I am young (that doesn’t make it less stressful), I don’t have my own family yet, I still live with my parents (student loans drain my account), so I have a roof over my head. Then I was in my room one day, in a bad mood, and I turned and looked at my “BELIEVE” sign my mom got for me a few years ago. At that moment, I chose to believe. It’s very hard losing a job, I have one now, and I am very thankful but I still “grieve” for my previous job, I loved it. Still, I choose to believe that my dream job is waiting for me. God wants to prepare me for that job. He’s putting me through these challenges to teach me some kind of lesson. Once I land that dream job, I will know what that lesson is and why I went through so much job loss.
Trusting in God
Myndie Krause November 30th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
We've struggled financially since we've been married (3.5 years). From medical bills, to unemployment to more medical bills. My husband and I have grown a lot closer. I think mainly because we talk about ALL of our finances. I also know that by obeying the commandments,we will always be taken care of. The Lord seems to wait till the last minute for us. Just when we KNOW we can't make it another pay check, we are blessed. I think it's important to have faith in the Lord. Unfortunately, my parents are prime examples of what not to do when finances are in trouble. Hiding money, not communicating about the problems. I could go on, but I won't.

I'm still learning from financial struggles (and will be till we're done with school!), but I'm grateful for my faith and that Heavenly Father knows us better than we know ourselves.

Thank you for this website. I grieve as well.
Compounding
M N December 13th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
I understand some of what you are saying about the stress of unemployment. Sometimes I go over a "series of unfortunate events" that we have experienced over the last decade. So much happened even before Dominic died, with most of it kept private.

But then Dominic died. We actually had already closed on our house, so we didn't have that particular stress, but we were only in our home a couple of months before Dominic died. Then about 7 weeks later my husband lost his job. I had a miscarriage a few months later, and it was about 9 months before we were able to find employment again (but with a significant pay cut and fewer benefits). We have struggled ever since to catch up, because nine months without employment takes a long time to recover from.

I count that time as our "fishes and loaves" miracle. We gave God what we had and he made it sufficient. In no way at all could what we had been enough to sustain us for those nine months, but though it doesn't work on paper somehow we WERE sustained.

I don't know if I can say one was more stressful than the other because so many things have compounded for us. And it seems to keep going... but here I am still struggling to keep holding on. So something must be working.

Some of the things I "liked" about the unemployment were: spending more time with my husband (it was a real blessing to have him here with all the grieving even though it was a HUGE stress on us financially and on our marriage and so forth, I just still felt good to have him close by so much); spending so much more time at home (no money = no shopping or outings) and finding ways to just enjoy each other without extra frills; making food from scratch (making bagels ourselves was our favorite, though a lot of work and made us appreciate being able to afford buying bagels already made)...

We had always been financially careful, and so the blessing of knowing that preparing for a hard time does really have a reward. It didn't make it all better, but if we hadn't prepared as much as we did, it would have made for a whole lot more difficulty. We were able to maintain *some* pride in taking care of *some* things.

It is true, though, that losing something as important as life sustaining income is a *huge* loss that throws you into a loss cycle. There is real stress from that loss. And there is grief in the loss.
RE: Different kind of Stress
dr charms February 4th, 2012 at 5:57 am
Stress includes many types of stress, this may be due to working for long hours or taking mental stress also,
tension produced due to stress can be controlled, it basically depends upon individual to individual,
the stress sometime leads to certain types of depressions and antidepressant - SSRIs

i would suggest certain medicine that are available online, Ultracet and guanidine used together may slow down Ultracet (tramadol).The full impact of this interaction is still not known. Ultracet (tramadol) may increase the effect of war fain and digoxin.